Tough Times


Dress - Matalan
Shoes - George

I've sat down at my laptop several times this week to write a post but either ended up in tears or drawing a blank.  If you read my last post you will have seen that I've been having a tough time recently with family and it with the heaviest of hearts I sadly have to say that my Nan passed away after a long battle with dementia.  It is one of the hardest diseases to have to watch a loved one suffer from and affects people in ways I never knew, it is not just a case of simply losing your memory.  As I have watched her deteriorate since Christmas I thought it was something I had prepared myself for but it still hit me like a ton of bricks and I suddenly feel unable to function. The love I have for my Nan is in describable, we were a typical close knit Irish family and she was the matriarch, nicknamed "the Godmother" by the rest of the family.  We all loved to be in her company and she just radiated kindness, generosity and love.  Typically the Irish nan she was, the first thing she'd always do is feed you and my fondest memories are the endless mornings we'd sit in her kitchen eating toast and chatting away.  I'm not a big toast lover but my Nan used to make the most incredible toast and I have no idea what her secret was, but damn I am going to miss that toast! 

This is something I've been umm-ing and aah-ing about sharing on the blog but I know this will affect me greatly and for a while yet.  However I am trying to find the balance between allowing myself to grieve, continuing to battle my anxiety and trying to continue with everyday activities.  So when I put makeup on for the first time this week and made myself look semi presentable I decided to take some outfit photos.  I was a little reluctant to post them but I wanted to share the me when I am trying to put on a brave face.  My unwashed hair normally ends up in braids or space buns and I wear a bold lip for a little boost.  This is also the first time I think I have worn my glasses in a blog post too, when I first got them I was very self conscious of wearing them and just didn't feel right.  However over the last few weeks I have become more comfortable wearing them and they have even become a sort of shield for me on my anxious days.  I don't know how to explain it but when I'm having a tough day I put them on and although I can see clearer I feel like I have an extra barrier between me and the outside world.

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, and be sure to tell your loved ones how much they mean to you and cherish every single moment you spend with them.

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  1. Lovely post dear, I'm also in love with the photos ♥
    I'm following you, would you like to follow me back, I would be glad and we can become good blog friends? ^_^

  2. Big hugs Sadie 😘 I love the space buns xxx

  3. I'm so sorry for your loss, Sadie. I know how hard it is to see a loved one experience dementia, as I worked in a nursing home in the Alzheimer's and Dementia unit and would see first hand the challenges those affected with it went through everyday. May she continue to live on in all your memories; sending lots of love your way.



  4. I'm so truly sorry for your loss sweet Sadie, sending all the love from my heart to yours. My heart goes out to you and I can't imagine what you must be going through right now. I'm so proud of you for being so strong and brave, and I know your lovely Nan would be too. It's so beautiful that you shared some of your precious memories in this post and it was so heart-warming to read about them. I'm so proud of you for opening up and sharing this too, it must have been so difficult to do so, but yet again your courage floors me and makes me look up to you and respect you times a million. You're looking absolutely stunning as always, the space buns and stripey dress just look utterly dreamy on you gorgeous girl 💜

    All the love to you and your family at this difficult time, you're in my thoughts beaut babe. You're always welcome to email me anytime at all, I'm always here if you need a friend, a chat, anything. You're a true diamond and am always here for you, from the bottom of my heart ❤️

    Sophie | soinspo xo


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